The Pet Gap

One serious issue for Obama in the upcoming election is the experience gap, but fourdogmom highlights another disturbing issue, the pet gap.

The rundown among the main candidates:

McCain (22) - Sam the English springer spaniel, Coco the mutt, turtles Cuff and Link, Oreo the black and white cat, a ferret, three parakeets and 13 saltwater fish

Mike Huckabee (2) - Jet the 9-year-old black Lab, Sonic the 1 1/2-year-old Shih Tzu

Clinton (1) - "Seamus, our Lab"

Mitt Romney (0) - Family recently lost Marley, a Weimaraner

Barack Obama (0) - None

How can a man with no pets be expected to successfully challenge a man who manages the kind of menagerie McCain has? (Saltwater fish alone can be a lot of work.) McCain is pitching a big tent, welcoming animals of all kinds, while Obama can't be bothered. This does not reflect well on you, Obama.

But it's not too late. While many of us rabbit-lovers (who are clearly out of sync with the sensibilities of the political classes) will be drawn through small-animal solidarity to McCain, with his birds, turtles, fish, and a ferret (of all the crazy things), we could be impressed by Obama adopting a bunny from a rescue organization.

...Nevermind. It is too late. Fuck you Barack Obama and your website whose stupid flash thing crashed my browser and all seven windows I was keeping open for a god-damn reason. Remember, a vote for Obama is a vote against all that is good and cuddly and a vote for Internet terrorism. Bastard.

But really, how idiotic is it that the website of one of the two leading candidates for President of the United States does not function correctly. Run this country? He can't even keep his own website up! The man is clearly not to be trusted with a bunny either.

And isn't it strange that now that Giuliani has dropped out of the race, he is endorsing a ferret owner, given the famous segment from his old radio show in which he called a ferret-lover crazy? I particularly liked the quote: "There is something really something wrong with you...this excessive concern with little weasels is a sickness." Maybe Giuliani has reason to know that McCain's interest in ferrets remains at non-clinical levels. Or maybe Giuliani is just a jerk. (Though really, isn't Giuliani kind of weasely himself?)

I noticed that Ron Paul was absent from fourdogmom's list and I could not easily find anything on his pet situation. Of course, given that Paul is simultaneously a libertarian lunatic and an anti-abortion activist, I can only assume that he condemns the practice of spaying and neutering animals while believing that animals should be pulling their own weight rather than living large on the backs of the American taxpayer, etc. Perhaps in a Ron Paul world, the very few remaining public streets would be over-run with greatly multiplying stray cats and dogs who should be working in sweatshops or deported.