Lessons Learned from "The 39 Steps"

(1) Every bachelor should keep a piece of fresh fish on a plate in the refrigerator without any plastic wrap or other covering because you never know when a mysterious, beautiful woman will invite herself home with you from a music hall and announce that she's hungry after telling you all about being a spy. That fish will cook quickly enough that you'll be ready to eat before things get terribly awkward.

(2) Although it is quite inconvenient when you ask a woman on the train to help you get away from the police because you're really innocent of the murder of aforementioned mysterious spy-woman and she immediately turns you over to the cops, in the long run, you'll be glad that you didn't fall in love with a woman who is a complete idiot.

(3) If you must wear stockings, it's best to go old-school and use the kind that only come up to mid-thigh rather than pantyhose that go up to your waist. It's more difficult to remove wet stockings while handcuffed to a man you think is a murderer than you might think. Of course, you could wear pants and normal socks, but it wouldn't be as sexy when his hand is forced to slide along your leg when you remove them.