This funny article in the New York Times chronicles some of the possessions that have functioned as deal-breakers for would-be lovers:
- 40 year old sheets with cartoon figures on them
- A real stuffed baby seal
- Mom’s tasseled gold lamps from the house a guy inherited and did nothing to redecorate
- Overhead lighting [?!]
- Stuffed animals, particularly unicorns
- High tech marijuana equipment
- “The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt
- A mildewed towel
But I was pleased to find out that the guy who was originally disturbed by his date’s pet rabbits, including one “geriatric rabbit,” was eventually won over and they are now married and living together with their child and at least one huge white rabbit.
Look around your place for a moment. What do you have that would (potentially) cause someone seeing it for the first time to be turned off? In my case, I’m guessing it would be the almost-too-cute-for-me items of the bunny stuff (at least half of which is Robert’s fault anyway) and my Groucho paraphernalia (ditto).
Have you ever encountered any deal-breakers in the house of one of your dates? I haven’t, but I always thought that a girl I went to college with was nice to warn the universe about herself by pinning up on her dorm room door the utterly drippy sentimental poetry she wrote--stuff with titles like “My Friends” that even the writers of the Care Bears TV show wouldn’t touch. Anybody who went out with her already knew they were in for a rainbow-and-moonbeams kind of experience. I guess putting this out there from the get-go saves time.
Ignoring the obvious (absolute filth and cockroaches, molding newspapers stacked to the ceiling, stuff I won’t write because I don’t want searches for these things to bring people to my blog) what would be a big (idiosyncratic) turn-off for you? For me, I’m thinking a crucifix on the wall over the bed. Or a Poison (that’s an ‘80s metal band with big dyed hair etc., Mom, that I hope you have never been exposed to and thus have held on to the brain cells so many of the rest of us lost by the slightest contact with these morons) that the guy holds on to because he secretly still kind of thinks they are cool, even if he pretends that he's all post-modern and ironic about it.
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I lack a lot of experience with other people's homes, and dates other than our wonderful host, but hypothetically...there's the Che poster/T-shirt/hat/cardboard cutout. The bed with 6 decorative pillows and 20 stuffed animals which have to be removed to sleep. (This would be the main bed, not a guest bed which is essentially an objet d'art.) Many winged infants. Especiallly with "Bless this family" written on the picture. I suspect other things would come to me.
Pillows with sayings embroidered on them. A Confederate flag. Evidence of a taxidermy hobby. An overabundance of "magical" items such as crystals.
I know what bugs me about my apartment (stacks of CDs outside of their cases, the general sense I have that there is just too much "stuff"), but I'm not sure what might turn off a potential date, other than the sort of disheveledness of the whole place. Anyone?
Let's see. My oldest sheets would be only 34 years old by now and are all in tatters and I finally got rid of them. I have plenty of overhead lighting and I love it. I have several stuffed animals received as gifts (and which are not on my bed). And I'm sure all my pictures are worse than "The Kiss." My towels are merely mildew-colored.
I admit I once had (and liked) a Holly Hobbie poster. (It had pretty colors and the quote was less sickening than average.) A grad school roommate said I could keep it only so long as I covered up the cutsie quote with something more ironic. And then I had a boyfriend with a baby-in-the-blender poster and a monster finger nearing the blender button, so that poster went next to my Holly Hobbie poster.
I have gotten rid of most of my cutsie decorations and clothing out of embarrassment and politeness (not out of maturing or anything like that). I still am keeping my eye out for a single over-the-top claw-and-ball Victorian chair, though. And I still buy clothing with lace on it. No ruffles, though. Pink only in moderation.
I think my 1000-square-foot house and 16-year-old car would certainly drive away one wrong type of guy.
I don't recall any dealbreakers with the possible exception of a large animal head, which I'm not sure I could appreciate even if I got to dress it up in something silly. So far, the things my guys have had that everyone else thinks are hideous are things I have no trouble tolerating. I like that infamous bottle-cap table because I love dark wood. There was a wrought iron chandelier with a similar reputation that I also liked perhaps because my family has a warm place for Inquisition decor.
Mostly a single item is not likely to drive me away, at least not until I hear the story behind it.
Actual winged babies would be fun. Nevermind, no they wouldn't--you want babies to stay where you put them. It's hard enough just cleaning peanut butter off the bottom five feet of walls.
I poster of a person with bullet holes like the kind you fire at in a shooting range. That plus a weird obsession with guns was what finally convinced me to stop dating a person who was probably a really nice guy.
I'm sure my collection of stuffed animals would be a turn off to many so I just tell everybody that they are Tam's. Don't tell Tam.
It's OK. I tell everyone that my crazy mom makes me sleep in a room where thousands of beady little glass eyes stare at me all night long.
And I tell them you sleep with a Bill Clinton doll ;-)
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