The Call That Changes All

I got "the call" today, offering me a spot with full tuition waiver and 10 hour per week TAship at my preferred program!

I was not expecting to hear by phone, but was glad to have the opportunity to talk to the program director, ask a few questions, and generally be told that they are as excited about me going there as I am. It had basically the same effect as Ed McMahon showing up at the door, only I waited until I was off the phone to spin around in my office chair, half-screaming.

I will receive the official letter in a week or so, and then I will make my own official decision. (Robert's last chance to say that he can't face moving to Winston-Salem, North Carolina.) But I think this is basically it for me.

By the way, the TAship will probably involve leading an approx 15 student sub-section of the research methods lab, a pretty easy and low-pressure assignment (unlike, e.g., having to teach an entire section of some class on your own).

After all this time, planning, applying, waiting, strategizing, hoping, worrying, etc., it's sort of unreal-feeling that it's actually going to happen now.

Once I got off the phone, I found myself looking at their website, reminding myself how much I like their program. (Also, it's funny that I'm ending up at my second small university: total enrollment 6,862. Rice is 5,339.) After spending a while wondering whether I was going to end up at that other school, I need to get myself back in the right mindset here. I also wondered briefly if I will feel any slight regret about not going to the other program and was amused because the professor I talked to today has "post-decision regret" as one of her areas of research. (I'm not talking serious regret that makes me wish I could undo the decision, just that mild feeling of recognition that even choosing an overall superior option doesn't mean that you don't also forgo some wonderful things about the other options, too.)

I expect that once the unreal-ish feeling goes away, I will start having the "oh my god I'm moving halfway across the country and going to graduate school" flood of thrill and terror.

Of course, it's interesting that this is happening on the heels of just yesterday printing out the presentation schedule at the conference I am going to this summer and seeing my name and the title of my presentation on the same document as a bunch of professors whose work I am using in the obesity study I am working on. The fact that I am actually going to be presenting my research in a venue for "real" scholars is kind of mind-boggling. I'm not even a real grad student yet! (This is called "imposter syndrome"; it's a pretty common feeling among grad students and academics.) There's something about being on the same list as people like Brian Wansink that makes you realize that you are playing in the major leagues. This said, it's going to be awesome.