Scared of a What?

OK, you have to admit that it's pretty much insane to discover that the dog on my parents' block who is so terrorizing the mail carrier (even from inside the house, since the infernal creature throws itself at screen doors with insane fury) that she refuses to deliver the mail on the entire street until something is done with the beast is a...miniature dachshund.

A what?

I didn't even know that dachshunds came in yet smaller sizes.



Upon hearing this news, Robert observed that the only time he has been attacked by a dog, it was a dachshund that bit him on the ear.

I was not clever enough at the time to pose the obvious question: "Did you bring it on yourself by badgering the little dog?"

Get it? Badgering? Wikipedia tells us: "The standard size was developed to scent, chase, and flush badgers and other burrow-dwelling animals, while the miniature was developed to hunt smaller prey, like rabbits."

Miniature dachshunds are rabbit killers?! I was willing to be amused by this whole situation until now, but with this additional information it becomes clear - that fucking dog has to die.